kingofkegs:

     “Nah, you definitely need them. You’re too thin.”

    ❝… How am I too thin.❞

(via kingofkegs)

kingofkegs:

     “Yeah! You get enough from me!”

    ❝Not that I really need them, but you do you.❞

(via kingofkegs)

kingofkegs:

     “Wait, what? That’s just make up? I mean, I’m a dad, so my instinct kicked in, but look, are you sure that’s make up? That’s on there pretty dark.”

    _{❝…. Yeah. It’s eyeshadow.} GOD, _{why do you care? It’s not like you’re MY dad or anything. Aren’t} YOUR _{kids enough to worry about?❞}

(via kingofkegs)

kingofkegs:

@bornburden

     “Did you get punched in the eyes? How is there no swelling, but they’re both so purple..?”

    _{❝…. Maybe ‘coz} THEY’RE NOT BRUISED? _{Ever consider that boys these days can wear makeup if they} WANT TO? _{Who are you to be asking, anyways?❞}